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【TOP 50】Dennis Miller Quotes - WhatsApp Status | Page-1

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There's no doubt about it, show business lures the people who didn't get enough love, attention, or approval early in life and have grown up to become bottomless, gaping vessels of terrifying, abject need. Please laugh. - Dennis Miller Quotes

There's no doubt about it, show business lures the people who didn't get enough love, attention, or approval early in life and have grown up to become bottomless, gaping vessels of terrifying, abject need. Please laugh.

It's ironic that in our culture everyone's biggest complaint is about not having enough time; yet nothing terrifies us more than the thought of eternity. - Dennis Miller Quotes

It's ironic that in our culture everyone's biggest complaint is about not having enough time; yet nothing terrifies us more than the thought of eternity.

American Comedian Funny

Police in Washington D.C. are now using cameras to catch drivers who go through red lights. Many congressmen this week opposed the use of the red light cameras incorrectly assuming they were being used for surveillance at local brothels. - Dennis Miller Quotes

Police in Washington D.C. are now using cameras to catch drivers who go through red lights. Many congressmen this week opposed the use of the red light cameras incorrectly assuming they were being used for surveillance at local brothels.

American Comedian Funny Police

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven okay? - Dennis Miller Quotes

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven okay?

Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to tell you the truth? Most of us are not going to care if they don't find these weapons of mass destruction. It's enough for a lot of us to see those kids smiling on that street again. - Dennis Miller Quotes

Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to tell you the truth? Most of us are not going to care if they don't find these weapons of mass destruction. It's enough for a lot of us to see those kids smiling on that street again.

American Comedian Funny

Sure, the lion is king of the junglebut airdrop him into Antarctica,& he's just a penguin's bitch - Dennis Miller Quotes

Sure, the lion is king of the junglebut airdrop him into Antarctica,& he's just a penguin's bitch

I lapsed into rude. - Dennis Miller Quotes

I lapsed into rude.

American Comedian Funny

Technology is fine. . ., but that popular vision of the future, where you plug somebody in and leave them there and they don't get out and interact with actual flesh-and-blood humans -- you know the answer before I say it -- that's not good. - Dennis Miller Quotes

Technology is fine. . ., but that popular vision of the future, where you plug somebody in and leave them there and they don't get out and interact with actual flesh-and-blood humans -- you know the answer before I say it -- that's not good.

A recent conversation: Dubya: Look at the clock, time is racing! Cheney: That's the second hand, George. - Dennis Miller Quotes

A recent conversation: Dubya: Look at the clock, time is racing! Cheney: That's the second hand, George.

A recent conversation: Dubya: Look at the clock, time is racing! Cheney: That's the second hand, George. - Dennis Miller Quotes

A recent conversation: Dubya: Look at the clock, time is racing! Cheney: That's the second hand, George.

If Clinton had only attacked terrorism as much as he attacks George Bush we wouldn't be in this problem. - Dennis Miller Quotes

If Clinton had only attacked terrorism as much as he attacks George Bush we wouldn't be in this problem.

American Comedian Funny Terrorism

That field goal attempt was so far to the left it nearly decapitated Lyndon LaRouche - Dennis Miller Quotes

That field goal attempt was so far to the left it nearly decapitated Lyndon LaRouche

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt. - Dennis Miller Quotes

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

American Comedian Funny Global Warming

He admitted this was stupid. It's a very serious offense. I wouldn't consider it a prank. ... It could have turned into something that caused far more injury, and even death, than it did. - Dennis Miller Quotes

He admitted this was stupid. It's a very serious offense. I wouldn't consider it a prank. ... It could have turned into something that caused far more injury, and even death, than it did.

German reunification: I view this in much the same way I view a possible Dean Martin - Jerry Lewis reconciliation: I never really enjoyed their work, and I'm not sure I need to see any of their new stuff - Dennis Miller Quotes

German reunification: I view this in much the same way I view a possible Dean Martin - Jerry Lewis reconciliation: I never really enjoyed their work, and I'm not sure I need to see any of their new stuff

Dean

A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run. - Dennis Miller Quotes

A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.

American Comedian Funny Police

I've always loved the flirtatious tango of consonants and vowels, the sturdy dependability of nouns and capricious whimsy of verbs, the strutting pageantry of the adjective and the flitting evanescence of the adverb, all kept safe and orderly by those reliable little policemen, punctuation marks. Wow! Think I got my ass kicked in high school? - Dennis Miller Quotes

I've always loved the flirtatious tango of consonants and vowels, the sturdy dependability of nouns and capricious whimsy of verbs, the strutting pageantry of the adjective and the flitting evanescence of the adverb, all kept safe and orderly by those reliable little policemen, punctuation marks. Wow! Think I got my ass kicked in high school?

And quit bringing up our forefathers and saying they were civil libertarians. Our founding fathers would have never tolerated any of this crap. For God's sake, they were blowing peoples' heads off because they put a tax on their breakfast beverage. And it wasn't even coffee. - Dennis Miller Quotes

And quit bringing up our forefathers and saying they were civil libertarians. Our founding fathers would have never tolerated any of this crap. For God's sake, they were blowing peoples' heads off because they put a tax on their breakfast beverage. And it wasn't even coffee.

There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it. - Dennis Miller Quotes

There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it.

American Comedian Funny

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese. - Dennis Miller Quotes

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

American Comedian Funny

I still feel pangs of remorse over an insidious habit I've had since I was a teenager. About three times a week, I attend estate auctions and make insulting, low-ball bids for prized heirlooms until I'm asked to leave. - Dennis Miller Quotes

I still feel pangs of remorse over an insidious habit I've had since I was a teenager. About three times a week, I attend estate auctions and make insulting, low-ball bids for prized heirlooms until I'm asked to leave.

Habit

I rant, therefore I am. - Dennis Miller Quotes

I rant, therefore I am.

American Comedian Funny

I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess. - Dennis Miller Quotes

I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess.

American Comedian Chess Funny

Trends don't mean anything to me. If I like something, I'll do it. If I don't, I won't do it, and I wouldn't care if everybody in the country mocked me. - Dennis Miller Quotes

Trends don't mean anything to me. If I like something, I'll do it. If I don't, I won't do it, and I wouldn't care if everybody in the country mocked me.

We are simultaneously the most hated, loved, feared and admired nation on this planet. In short, we are Frank Sinatra. And the Chairman didn't make his bones laying down for punks... - Dennis Miller Quotes

We are simultaneously the most hated, loved, feared and admired nation on this planet. In short, we are Frank Sinatra. And the Chairman didn't make his bones laying down for punks...

What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps us from fully enjoying the show. Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy. - Dennis Miller Quotes

What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps us from fully enjoying the show. Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy.

American Comedian Funny Guilt

One man's Voltaire is another man's Screech. - Dennis Miller Quotes

One man's Voltaire is another man's Screech.

American Comedian Funny

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch. - Dennis Miller Quotes

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

American Comedian Funny

It's a shame about the fish, it's a shame about the lake. But it'd be worse if it burst and people died. - Dennis Miller Quotes

It's a shame about the fish, it's a shame about the lake. But it'd be worse if it burst and people died.

Those people need to invent perfume - Dennis Miller Quotes

Those people need to invent perfume

Is it on our minds? Yes. - Dennis Miller Quotes

Is it on our minds? Yes.

A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks. Kerry's appeal to Southern blacks is obvious. He is a white man who lives far, far away. - Dennis Miller Quotes

A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks. Kerry's appeal to Southern blacks is obvious. He is a white man who lives far, far away.

American Comedian Funny Support

What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then we turn on a dime and we immediately start taking care of people. It's like a shock and aw shucks campaign. - Dennis Miller Quotes

What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then we turn on a dime and we immediately start taking care of people. It's like a shock and aw shucks campaign.

American Comedian Funny

Everyone wants answers and wants to know what the timeline is, - Dennis Miller Quotes

Everyone wants answers and wants to know what the timeline is,

Everyone wants answers and wants to know what the timeline is. Unfortunately, it's a complex situation, and we don't have the final answers yet. - Dennis Miller Quotes

Everyone wants answers and wants to know what the timeline is. Unfortunately, it's a complex situation, and we don't have the final answers yet.

Childbirth is a wonderful thing, but the reality is that it can dramatically change a woman's body. SUI occurs when the vaginal wall weakens and cannot provide adequate support to the urethra, thus causing leaking. The good news is that women with SUI have many different treatment options available to them. - Dennis Miller Quotes

Childbirth is a wonderful thing, but the reality is that it can dramatically change a woman's body. SUI occurs when the vaginal wall weakens and cannot provide adequate support to the urethra, thus causing leaking. The good news is that women with SUI have many different treatment options available to them.

There should be some kind of dedication of a portion of the funds to Town Center. - Dennis Miller Quotes

There should be some kind of dedication of a portion of the funds to Town Center.

My interest is that there has to be some funding source in perpetuity that could maintain the land in Town Center. - Dennis Miller Quotes

My interest is that there has to be some funding source in perpetuity that could maintain the land in Town Center.

The claim that somehow raw foods give you better energy, are more healthful, improve your immune system and all of that is simply not substantiated. And moreover, it's not biologically plausible. - Dennis Miller Quotes

The claim that somehow raw foods give you better energy, are more healthful, improve your immune system and all of that is simply not substantiated. And moreover, it's not biologically plausible.

I am fortunate to have had the opportunity to usher the program through its early stages of growth. For 10 years I have approached my responsibilities with pride and with passion. It has been a tremendous experience to work with our amazing student-athletes. - Dennis Miller Quotes

I am fortunate to have had the opportunity to usher the program through its early stages of growth. For 10 years I have approached my responsibilities with pride and with passion. It has been a tremendous experience to work with our amazing student-athletes.

There will be select instances where the consumer is interested in paying for premium content. I think it will be difficult to get people to pay for something on the Internet that they can find elsewhere on the Internet for free. - Dennis Miller Quotes

There will be select instances where the consumer is interested in paying for premium content. I think it will be difficult to get people to pay for something on the Internet that they can find elsewhere on the Internet for free.

Since the bus, a lot of people go to Florida who wouldn't if they had to hire a driver. - Dennis Miller Quotes

Since the bus, a lot of people go to Florida who wouldn't if they had to hire a driver.

If you could use the Internet somehow to see how a Fiji sailor is doing, rather than having to read a text version of it somewhere a day later, that would be great. - Dennis Miller Quotes

If you could use the Internet somehow to see how a Fiji sailor is doing, rather than having to read a text version of it somewhere a day later, that would be great.

This is our first branch in Birmingham and we're looking forward to it, ... It's a nice community and we wanted to locate a branch there. - Dennis Miller Quotes

This is our first branch in Birmingham and we're looking forward to it, ... It's a nice community and we wanted to locate a branch there.

Our desire was to be annexed into one of the villages of Columbia, but it didn't turn out that way. - Dennis Miller Quotes

Our desire was to be annexed into one of the villages of Columbia, but it didn't turn out that way.

You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R - Dennis Miller Quotes

You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R

Education System

Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what's more life-affirming than cold, hard cash? - Dennis Miller Quotes

Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what's more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?

American Comedian Funny

Sure, the lion is king of the jungle
but airdrop him into Antarctica,
& he's just a penguin's bitch - Dennis Miller Quotes

Sure, the lion is king of the jungle but airdrop him into Antarctica, & he's just a penguin's bitch

Bitch

Born again?! No, I'm not. Excuse me for getting it right the first time. - Dennis Miller Quotes

Born again?! No, I'm not. Excuse me for getting it right the first time.

American Comedian Funny

After seven years of marriage, I'm sure of two things -- first, never wallpaper together, and second, you'll need two bathrooms.. both for her. The rest is a mystery, but a mystery I love to be involved in. - Dennis Miller Quotes

After seven years of marriage, I'm sure of two things -- first, never wallpaper together, and second, you'll need two bathrooms.. both for her. The rest is a mystery, but a mystery I love to be involved in.

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